4 Things to Do If Your Child is Being Bullied
Is your child being bullied in school? It’s the last thing you as a parent want to think about. Each day you send your child to school. You expect them to be safe and learn what they need in school. But sometimes bullying in school happens. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to handle the situation calmly.
I’m New Jersey-based school assembly performer Michael Kirschner. Each year I present my bully prevention school assemblies to schools in and around New Jersey. Each month I craft articles like this to help busy parents and school administrators.
Let’s look at the steps you can take if you discover your child is being bullied in school.
My Child is Being Bullied Tip #1: Stay Calm
This may sound easier than it actually is. But you need to remain calm. Calling the school and yelling or screaming at those in charge won’t get you far. The best thing to do is step back and analyze the situation. Yes, your first instinct may be to protect your child. That’s admirable and noble. But how you respond must be logical and well-thought-out.
And perhaps most importantly, don’t deny it’s happening. This is sometimes the other emotional response to bullying. Many parents simply don’t want to believe their child is a victim of bullying. So they ignore the signs. Some even get angry at their child. They may say things like, “Man up!” or “Stand up for yourself!” None of these are good responses.
Bullying is an imbalance of power. The bully may be larger or older than your child. And the bully may travel in a pack with their friends. Often, telling your child to stand up for themselves may make the problem even worse.
My Child is Being Bullied Tip #2: Learn Everything You Can
What do you know about bullying? There are a ton of resources online. And I’ve crafted several other articles on this topic here, here, and here. Learn all you can about bullying. What are the warning signs? Who is bullying your child?
Discover the motivations behind the bullying. And realize that bullying is much more complex than you may realize. Many people grew up being told that bullying was just ‘boys being boys,’ but that’s not the case. Bullying is serious. It needs to be treated as such.
You’ll also want to document everything you can. Who bullied your child? Where did it take place? Who else was present? Where were the adults in charge? What specifically did the bully do? What time of day was it? Documenting everything that took place helps your case. The more details you can present to the school the better.
My Child is Being Bullied Tip #3: Go to Your Child’s School
Bullying is often repeated behavior. Once a bully sets their sights on a target, they may not let up. Once you find out your child is being bullied, take action right away. The problem will not go away on its own.
You’ll want to set up a meeting with school officials as soon as possible. Meet with your child’s teacher, the school principal, the school counselor, everyone you can. Remember your child’s school may have certain protocols to follow.
The school may have a set order of people you’ll need to see when handling a bullying situation. Call the school. Rationally explain what happened. Ask what the next steps are to address the situation.
My Child is Being Bullied Tip #4: Be There for Your Child
Finally and most importantly, comfort your child. Reassure them that what happened was definitely not their fault. Your child may be feeling confused, afraid, ashamed, or all three. They need to know you are there for them for comfort. Or just to talk to.
This comes with a big caveat. Some kids are embarrassed when they are bullied. They may not want to talk to you. They may want their space. You may have to respect their space. But continue to let them know you are there for them.
Also, involve your child in your quest for a solution. Let them know you are working with the school to address the problem.
Want a School-Wide Bully Prevention Message?
My popular anti-bully school assembly “Abracabully” addresses bullying in a kid-friendly way. With stories of inspiration, important lessons, fun-filled magic, and join-in fun, your school’s students will be riveted. To find out more contact me today, while you’re thinking about it.