How to Prevent Your Child from Becoming a Bully
Does your child seem overly aggressive? Do they have a temper? These and other signs may indicate your child could become a bully. Thousands of articles have been written about stopping bullying. But what about preventing a child from becoming a bully in the first place?
I’m New Jersey-based school assembly presenter Michael Kirschner. For over ten years, I’ve performed my educational assembly program on bullying, “Abracabuly,” to hundreds of schools in New Jersey, Florida, New York, and other states. Each month I write insightful articles to help parents and school administrators with difficult topics.
How exactly do we prevent a child from becoming a bully? The steps are similar to working with a child who is already a bully. In this article, I’ll reveal four strategies to prevent your child from becoming a bully.
Preventing My Child from Being a Bully Tip #1: Your Behavior
Never forget that your child pays attention to everything they see you do. They model their behavior after you and the other key adults in their everyday lives. They may not copy what you do consciously, but they do indeed take their cues from you.
What does this mean? Watch what you say or do. Do you behave aggressively toward other people? What do you say about them, both to them and when they are not around? Take a long hard look at your own behavior. You may discover you are influencing your child’s behavior without realizing it.
Preventing My Child from Being a Bully Tip #2: School Communication
Wondering if there is a developing problem with your child’s behavior? Schedule a meeting with their teacher. Your child spends the majority of their waking hours in school. Speaking with the teacher may shed light on some of your child’s behavior.
If your teacher does share behavior issues with your child, listen with an open mind. Too often, a parent listening to details of aggressive or bullying behavior by their child may scoff and say, “No way, not my kid!”
Go into the meeting with an open mind. Listen to what your child’s teacher says. Ask questions. Share stories of your own.
Preventing My Child from Becoming a Bully Tip #3: Correct Behavior
Have you noticed your child acting aggressively? Does your child say disparaging things about other people? Are any of their comments based on the person they’re picking on being ‘different’ in any way?
When you find your child doing or saying anything like that, step in immediately. Let them know that behavior is not acceptable. Explain to them that it’s not only your rules as a parent. It’s about kindness and acceptance in society as a whole.
If you must punish your child, do so calmly. Explain to your child why they are being punished. Disciplining a child should never be done in anger.
Preventing My Child from Becoming a Bully Tip #4: Explain What Bullying Is
It’s surprising, but many people today still don’t understand what bullying is. Some adults will still try to rationalize it. They’ll say things like, “Well, it’s just kids being kids.” It’s not. And it’s up to you as a parent to explain to your child what bullying is and isn’t.
Tell your child bullying can take many forms, such as:
- Physical Bullying – Punching, kicking, or destruction of personal property
- Verbal Bullying – Name calling, teasing, verbal threats
- Cyber Bullying – Posting anything cruel or threatening to a person or about them
- Rumors – Saying negative things about a person behind their back
- Exclusion – Intentionally leaving someone out or telling them they can’t join a group during recess
Once your child understands how many forms bullying can take, it’s easier to correct their negative behavior.
Preventing My Child from Becoming a Bully Tip #5: Build Self-Confidence
Not every child who bullies has low self-confidence. But many do, so you can help build your child’s self-confidence. Encourage them when they take on a new or difficult project. Even if they fail at something, praise their efforts.
If your child feels like they don’t fit in at school, help them find their own passions in a hobby or fun activity they can do with others. Chances are if your child enjoys doing something, there will be a club or group somewhere filled with kids who also enjoy the same thing.
Bring an Effective Bully Prevention Assembly Program to Your School
Want to help everyone at your child’s school get on the same page with bullying? Check out details on my “Abracabully” anti-bullying assembly program. It’s filled with stories, magic, and antibullying tips and strategies for kids.