4 Signs Your Child is Being Bullied at School
Is your child being bullied at their school? If you’re a parent, this is about the last thing you want to think about. Imagining your child being bullied is heartbreaking. Each day you send your child off to school believing they will be safe. And they’ll gain great information in school, come home, and be one step closer to becoming a productive member of society.
But that’s not what happens to many kids. According to DoSomething.org, a staggering one in five students between the ages of 12 to 18 report being bullied in school. There is no doubt bullying remains a major problem for our youth.
I’m school assembly specialist Michael Kirschner. For the last 15 years, I’ve presented thousands of anti-bullying assembly programs to schools in New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, and even Florida. Each month I write articles just like this one to help parents and school administrators deal with issues facing children every day.
How Do I Know if My Child is Being Bullied?
Here’s one of the biggest roadblocks to knowing your child is being bullied. They often won’t want to tell you. Many children feel shame when they are bullied. And they are often afraid that saying anything about it will make the problem worse.
So how do you get around this obstacle? Simple observation. You know your child’s patterns. You know what a good day looks like. You know what a bad one looks like. Now it’s time to compare the good with the bad. Watch for any ongoing issues that seem to continue regularly.
But aside from regular bad days, there are specific signs of bullying you can watch for. They are presented in no specific order, so one is not ‘worse’ than another.
Sign My Child is Being Bullied #1: Damaged or Missing Belongings
Some bullies are more physical than others. A common way to bully someone is by taking their belongings or damaging them. If you notice your child is missing certain things, it’s time to investigate. Some kids lose things, so missing belongings is not the only sign.
You’ll need to question your child about the missing items. Watch how your child reacts. Are they evasive about what happened? Do they look away from you as they talk? What about damaged items? Are they merely scuffed, or do they have the tell-tale look of being intentionally stepped on, pulled apart, or otherwise abused?
Missing or damaged items are not a guarantee of bullying. But it does warrant further investigation.
Sign My Child is Being Bullied #2: Physical Ailments
How is your child acting? Are they more irritable than normal? This one is tough because of hormones and just kids being kids. Parents know their children can shift moods rapidly and for seemingly no reason. But irritability is not the only physical sign to look for.
Is your child suffering from headaches or stomach aches more than usual? Knowing they have to go to school each day and deal with a bully is extremely stressful for a child. Stress manifests itself in surprising physical ways.
And there are the obvious signs to watch for. Unexplained bruises, scrapes, and other injuries can be a tell-tale sign your child has been involved in a physical encounter with a bully.
Again, if you question your child about these injuries, watch their response. Do they laugh it off? Do they avert their eyes and become evasive?
Sign My Child is Being Bullied #3: Reluctance to Go to School
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Some kids don’t like school for many reasons. So they try to avoid it. But bullying is different. Some bullied children don’t want to go to school out of fear. And they often show certain signs.
They may try excuses to get out of going to school. These excuses may not make sense and may even come off as desperate. As a dedicated and observant parent, you will likely notice signs of fear as they try to ‘sell’ you on these excuses.
This reluctance may also coincide with how they go to or from school. They may suddenly start choosing long or unusual routes to take. Are they doing this to avoid certain kids? You’ll need to investigate.
Sign My Child is Being Bullied #4: School Performance
Have your child’s grades started dropping? Look at events in your child’s life. Has there been a family upheaval of any kind? If not, your child’s grades may be dropping due to stress from being bullied at school.
If you notice your child’s grades suddenly dropping, schedule a meeting with their teacher.
Looking at the Entire Picture
As you consider all of these signs, remember something important. A single sign of bullying may not equal an ongoing bullying problem. A rip in a pair of jeans or a single stomachache may not mean bullying is happening. But it might. You’ll have to look at everything going on in your child’s life. Add all the pieces together to find out whether you should investigate further.
Sometimes bullying is painfully obvious. Once you know for sure your child is being bullied, you can take steps to solve the problem. But other times, bullying is not so easy to spot. If you feel your child is the victim of bullying, schedule a conference with their teacher. Have a conversation and look at the signs together.
A School-Wide Anti-Bullying Assembly
Children need to be reminded they are not alone. Knowing their teachers and school have their back can make them feel more confident about coming forward. My “Abracabully” school assembly program is a perfect way to let kids know they are not alone. With magic, join-in fun, power stories, and more, this program will be the assembly highlight of your school year! Contact me today for more details.