4 Signs Your Child is a Bully
Is your child a bully? Many parents cannot even imagine this happening. However, bullying continues to happen in schools across the country every year. Like the bullied, bullies often have certain ‘tells’ you can spot if you know what to look for. The key is knowing what these tells are.
I’m anti-bullying school assembly performer, Michael Kirschner. Each year I present my fun and amazing “Abracabully” school assembly to thousands of students. And each month I write articles just like this one to help busy parents and school faculty deal with pressing issues facing their children.
How Can I Tell If My Child is a Bully?
Like many behaviors, children will rarely raise their hands and say ‘Yes, I’m doing this behavior.’ As a teacher or parent reading this, I’m going to mention something you already know. Most of the time, you’ll have to be a detective. You’ll need to look at your child’s overall actions. And you’ll likely need to speak with the school faculty.
Sign My Child is a Bully #1: Violence
Does your child like movies, video games, or TV shows that are violent? In their daily lives, do they look at violence positively? Many experts claim constant exposure to violence in media desensitizes children in their views of violence toward others in the real world.
While this may be a simple phase your child is going through, look at other behaviors. And remember to look at behavior toward animals too. How does your child treat animals? Are they gentle or rough with animals? Does the child enjoy picking on pets or treating them poorly?
Sign My Child is a Bully #2: Rebelling Against Authority
Does your child push back against your household boundaries? Talk to your child’s teacher about this. Your teacher may tell you your child rebels in school, too. Rejecting authority both at home and school is a strong sign your child may be bullying other students in school.
There is another likely behavior that often goes hand in hand with pushing back against authority. Does your child have a temper? If they are a ‘hot head,’ impulse control is even more of an issue. Sudden outbursts and rule-breaking are other signs. If your child is angry a lot, they may have deeper psychological issues to work through.
And when considering your child’s hotheadedness, do they lash out a lot? Some kids have impulse control issues that cause them to act without considering the consequences. Children with a lack of impulse control are more likely to bully others.
Sign My Child is a Bully #3: Need for Control
Bullies often fight for control in their lives. They may dominate activities in sports, group projects in school, or even in a group of friends. This drive for social status may spring from a surprising source. Many children who bully were themselves bullied in the past.
Has your child suffered abuse in your household? Were they abused by a family member, such as a parent or sibling? They may be lashing out in retaliation to those around them now.
If you don’t know of any bullying from your child’s past, now is the time to investigate. Find out whether your child was picked on or hurt by other students. They may be trying to regain control to feel better.
Sign My Child is a Bully #4: Manipulative
There is a stigma that bullies are awkward or have trouble fitting in. That may be true for some but certainly not all. Many bullies are quite charming. They inspire others to follow them. And they may be skilled at talking their way out of trouble.
Is your child a ‘smooth operator?’ When caught doing something they shouldn’t, do they talk their way out of punishment? Many bullies can manipulate others around them with ease.
Lack of Empathy
A child displaying many of these traits often has a lack of empathy. This means they can’t see things from someone else’s point of view. So as they interact with others, they cannot imagine themselves in someone else’s position. Without empathy, this child has a hard time seeing how their actions affect others.
Schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher and/or school counselor. These professionals are in your child’s school to help you through these kinds of situations.
An Anti-Bullying School Assembly That is FUN?
One way to raise awareness of a bullying problem in your child’s school is through an assembly program on bullying. My “Abracabully” school assembly program illustrates the seriousness of bullying. This show uses magic, join-in fun, and effective storytelling to shine a light on this serious topic. To learn more, contact me today.